Ever feel like a Tumbleweed
Ever feel like a tumbleweed,
wonder if you can grow roots?
I exist here today,
Tomorrow where will I go?
I have no control,
Wherever winds will blow.
Severed from my roots
Feeling aimless and dry.
Tumbled by the breeze,
Desolate land and sky.
This wasn’t my plan,
Not my hopes nor my dreams.
They are foiled, been dashed,
Faded away, so it seems.
My wanderings will cease,
But where will I be?
Will there be some life
In my final destiny?
New life is carried within the dead
A fact about a tumbleweed is that the tissues of the structure are actually dead. Once this Russian thistle bush is mature and dry, it detaches from its root system and tumbles away in the wind. However, it carries life in its propagules, which are its seeds or spores. As the weed tumbles, its structure begins to break down, and some propagules escape. When the tumbleweed finally does come to rest in a wet location, the balance of the propagules can germinate.
I recall feeling like a tumbleweed
It’s a feeling which is etched into my memory as a scar is impressed on the skin. I never want to forget it. It reminds me of where I have been, who I am now and where I am going. On occasion and randomly, I still feel like a tumbleweed.
In keeping with the analogy, I had grown and bloomed where I felt I had been planted. Unlike the tumbleweed that has one season, my life has had many seasons, as have we all, as we are human. I had been transplanted a few times and believed I had taken on each new environment with enthusiasm and vigour.
The dark night of the soul
However, a season came upon me where I lost all my vigour and zest for life. My “joie de vivre” had dried up. It had left me feeling that even my bones were dry. I was severed from my roots, that which once gave me life. It left me feeling isolated and aimless, tossed by the wind.
I think many people reach this point; some call it “a mid-life crisis” (which can really come at any stage of life), and some call it “the dark night of the soul”. Feeling disconnected and lifeless, I could imagine, as the lyrics of the band Kansas say, being just “dust in the wind”.
What I wasn’t to know at the time was that I was shedding my old dead structure and that within me lay my own propagules, my seeds of new life.
The winds blew, my framework degraded, and I finally came to rest near a pool of living water. A part of me died, and I had to mourn. In fact, most of me, the me I had been told I was and the person I had believed I was, had to die. Therein lies another story. How I, as a worm, had to surrender, gloop, and emerge transformed as a butterfly.
Embrace your journey of self-discovery
If you ever find yourself feeling like a tumbleweed, embrace the experience. You have been gifted with a journey of self-discovery. The dichotomy of this is that you have to brace yourself and surrender. A contradiction in terms and a challenging procedure. Brace yourself because it will be unfamiliar territory, and you will probably struggle to understand the situation. Have the courage to surrender, give up your control and trust the process. I know it’s a painful and difficult thing to do.
I believe we are all meant to find our true essence and purpose. Unfortunately for many of us, it may require us be severed from our roots, tossed by the wind, and disintegrate. The resulting beauty is discovering the seeds of life within us. As John 12:24 says: “Unless a seed falls to the ground and dies, it cannot bear fruit”.
“They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.”
A Mexican Proverb, original author, the Greek poet, Dinos Christianopoulos.
You see, energy cannot be destroyed. After death, there is life.
Where to Forever!
